The event is Haymakers for Hope and I contemplated giving it a shot this coming year. I talked it over with Todd, my trainer, and with my wife, Jen. It was going to be a commitment, multiple nights per week of intense training and sparring with an opponent. Todd warned that I would get bloodied and bruised, and to make sure Jen would be OK with a potential altered version of my face during this time (she was!). I talked it over with my parents and some friends, and was genuinely excited about the prospect of stepping into the ring for this great cause, where all proceeds go to The Jimmy Fund.
My reasoning for taking part in this is because of how my life has been affected in recent years. As many of you know, I have lost two of my best friends over the past couple of years and felt this was an opportunity to do something in their honor, to help raise money to continue this never-ending battle with cancer. I think about both of them (Don and Jay) often, sometimes multiple times a day. During some boxing classes, Todd will use this to get my ass in gear, continually asking me “Why are you doing this? Who is this for?” Having talked to Todd about these difficult loses in my life, he knows how I feel about both Don and Jay and how I was looking forward to honoring their memory.
Haymakers for Hope (www.haymakersforhope.org) raised nearly $200K for Dana Farber and the Jimmy Fund with last year’s event. I was looking forward to adding my contribution to this year’s tally, both through fundraising and donations, having already lined up a fundraising event at Whiskey Republic in Providence.
Then came the news. I had braced for it, but didn’t fully expect it to happen. As I walked into boxing class last night and was getting ready to wrap my hands, Todd delivered the news.
Haymakers couldn’t find a fight for me.
An email from Andrew, the “Chief Haymaker,” later on Tuesday night confirmed what Todd told me. Because of my age (38 in May) and my size, there wasn’t a fair fight for me to be involved in. This hit me like a ton of bricks last night, and I kind of went through the motions during class as I tried to digest the news.
On the way home, about a 40 minute drive, I did a lot of thinking, which I often do on my Tuesday night ride home from class, often getting lost in a train of thought for the entire ride. At first, I felt like I let someone down, that someone being Don and Jay, by not being able to get a fight. I felt that if I had just lost a few more pounds, if I had just tried a little harder, there would be a fight for me. Then I felt a little embarrassed at not being within the range to get a fight, thinking maybe if I didn’t have pizza this one night, or that one last beer while watching football, or if I hadn’t been off course since Thanksgiving with my eating and lack of exercise, maybe I would’ve gotten different news.
But then I started down another line of thinking, and this is the one that will get me through this and make me a better person, a stronger person. I am going to use this news, this not being able to fight, as motivation. I am going to try a little harder, make better choices, do what is necessary so that, come this time next year, Haymakers for Hope has TOO many people that are matched up to me.
I have been on an incredible journey for a couple of years now, and I am looking forward to this new track of the journey. I have switched gyms and look forward to adding some different types of classes to my workouts (spin class tonight!). I am exploring other options for workouts, and contemplating adding an extra day of boxing/fitness class with Todd.
During this journey, whenever I have felt like stopping or giving up, I have thought about two people that often guide me through that last bit of a tough workout. It will be those two that I will think about as I continue towards my goal of participating in Haymakers for Hope in 2013. This isn’t a journey I am ready to abort and one I am very determined to see to the end. I know I have the right people in my corner to help me get to my goal.
